One thing I wouldn't have predicted about Greenland:  Very small population but 37 Blockbuster Videos. #ConanGreenland

Mission accomplished. Details to come. #ConanGreenland https://t.co/CfZI1Ibxde

I’m going to make you proud, papa! #ConanGreenland https://t.co/Pn0UzcnNcw

Good news, President Trump —Greenland has a golf course. Bad news, no golf carts, so enjoy your one hole. #ConanGreenland https://t.co/uptMpGMOhI

.@realDonaldTrump, I came up with a whole new MAGA hat just for Greenland. #ConanGreenland https://t.co/HK0EHQiPME

I lost a small black rock. Has anyone seen it? #ConanGreenland https://t.co/r5Y1rCAzJi

Update: Found a local realtor and Greenland is on the market! #ConanGreenland https://t.co/nseOkbLwBj

In Greenland, I’ve become the beautiful woman I always knew I could be. #ConanGreenland https://t.co/kzwRDXzua9

Update on the Greenland purchase. #ConanGreenland https://t.co/2Zy2V8gOeC

.@realDonaldTrump, I’m in Greenland and just found this statue. No wonder you’re obsessed with this country. #ConanGreenland https://t.co/qRJzyWxkRj

Just landed in Greenland. Negotiations have begun! #ConanGreenland https://t.co/YDAKV03ob4

I started reading that Norwegian Air is ending all flights to Ireland but the headline was becoming so white I had to stop reading from the glare.

If you hated the first term of the Trump presidency, wait ’til the third!

.@realDonaldTrump wants to buy Greenland and I'm heading there to help negotiate the deal. https://t.co/ayZ6cNVCcO #ConanGreenland

Not much action today on my Reddit Ask Me Nothing.

This “deep fake” technology is getting eerie. Today I spent fifteen minutes watching an Aerosmith concert, only to discover it was just a video of someone’s scarf collection.

A Baptist college is kicking out a student who is transitioning. They’re becoming a Methodist.

The realism of the stunts in Hobbs & Shaw was vetted by respected physics professors Cornellius Fast and Deborah Ginsburg-Furious.

I may have to go to Greenland now and kick the tires on this deal. #ConanGreenland

Preseason football: the best time to see if that guy who works at your local Petco can return a punt.