I'd like to nominate John Wilson to direct the next "Fast & Furious" film. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/4wiQvu4Xw2

Sure, streaming subscriptions are just as expensive as cable, but you also get to remember 18 different passwords.

Netflix announced their plan to offer video games and I’m already looking forward to Assassin‘s Creed: Kominsky Method.

Hey Los Angeles, while we’re at it let’s just ban open-toed shoes indoors.

William seemed like a nice and normal chap until he admitted that he's looking forward to hunting me in the woods and partaking of my flesh. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/AGNSNOxwTm

I don't often get political on here, but Olympic athletes should be allowed to have sex with each other and then describe it to us.

Just started watching Love Island, and maybe this is the four glasses of wine I just had but I think I could win that show.

Jeff Bezos is charging someone $28 million for 11 minutes in space, which sounds just about right for the owner of Whole Foods.

It was a joy talking to Daniel Radcliffe about Harry Potter, our shared love of Alan Partridge, and his podcast, "Cunning Stunts." https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/7F2ltyJLVN

Much respect to whoever decided the nail file used in pedicures should not be called a pedofile.

One thing I miss about my nightly show is occasionally I'd make an offhand joke about laxatives and the next day I'd receive 2 cases of Dulcolax. Hear that, Dulcolax?

Now that I’m out of late night, I’m gonna start pitching sitcoms. So far I’ve got: something with friends, in a place.

This week I talked to a "spirits educator" about my search for a more masculine cocktail. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/6UYgmFZqHx

I dream of a day when space travel is available not only to billionaires, but to any person with a net worth of over $500 million.

RT @TeamCoco: Congrats to our entire staff and crew on their Outstanding Variety Talk Series #Emmy nomination! https://t.co/bG8rqTqMn4

I'm so glad that Weird @AlYankovic decided not to become an architect. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/5Qd3D7hccl

Sometimes I worry my murder won’t be interesting enough to be on a podcast.

FYI: when you end your talk show to spend more time with your family, you should probably check their availability first

Los Angeles has an official new logo. And slogan: “LA, we don’t NOT have cocaine here.” https://t.co/E5675E4gBG

Brenna claims to be a fan, but I think she just came on my podcast to get to @ArcadeFire. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/voQvzGaROT