- Posts 2,434
- Updates 35 minutes ago
- Conan O'Brien
Dear White House Turkey: you’ll get a pardon if you have dirt on Joe Biden.
The Circle Of Life 2019 - Asking your kids for computer help so you can help your parents with theirs.
But in all sincerity, sometimes that actually just is what she said.
There is not a single executive in my career that I admire more than Rick Ludwin, and I will not see his like again. https://t.co/YXgXT5QAQM
Come for the “Mac and Me” backstory, stay for Paul Rudd's pornographic how-to on marinating chicken breasts. https://t.co/pfOk23nSHZ https://t.co/RA5NX8D8tI
Come for the "Mac and Me" backstory, stay for Paul Rudd's pornographic how-to on marinating chicken breasts. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr
When a Lyft driver offers you a mint, it’s “good service.” But somehow it’s “not cool” when I offer all my passengers a rotisserie chicken.
Doughnuts’ ring-shape was originally invented in 1847, by an American baker who was looking for a better way to have sex with cake.
Support injured Veterans via @HomesForOurTrps by bidding on tickets to my show and autographed swag. https://t.co/v9xZ26TayE #HFOTcelebauction
I bought a high-end slow cooker. Today, I made Easter dinner for the year 2027.
Watch me explore Ghana with @SamRichardson, meet Ashanti royalty, and fight a dinosaur bird tonight @ 10/9c on @TBSNetwork. https://t.co/goZ2H1DKD0 #ConanGhana
I saw "T.I." and "hymen" trending and had to google them both.
I can list every United States President in order of wingspan, said the man who thought birds were Presidents.
Paying for a boxing gym seems crazy to me--if you want to learn how to fight, just grab the last free pizza bagel sample at Costco.
I talked to the great @NeilYoungNYA about his new album and that time I accidentally attempted a guitar solo in front of him. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/SskZMUa7WF
Bernie Sanders is like if a regular old senator got bit by a radioactive hippie.
Just got invited to meet the Pope, until the person on the phone realized I was the talk show host Conan, and not the hero dog, Conan.
ISIS has chosen its new leader. Nice job, Linkedin.
If you’ve got left-overs from Halloween, here’s a tip: Candy Corn makes an excellent chowder.
I think for Halloween I’ll go with what I dressed up as last year, Dayton, Ohio Comptroller Mel Hindman.
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